I have wanted to get this out of my soul for a long time, but I can’t find the right words. I don’t even know if I will today, but I will try. That’s what life comes down to, isn’t it? You don’t know, but you try and then you know. It may turn out well, and it may turn out badly. But realistically, it is not so much the outcome that defines you as the (un) desire to at least try.
But let’s let go of the attempts and failures now, let’s stay on the definition. I was talking to a friend the other day about how we are able to listen to Elton John one day, hip-hop the next day, and folklore the third.
Even now, some people will have their hair on their heads because I put it in the same sentence, but the only problem in the whole story is that people worry too much about what others will say if they are not consistent, and worry too little about what suits them at the moment.
After all, what does it mean to be consistent at all? Does it refer to consistency in your role and the mask you put in front of others or to consistency in the sense of listening to yourself and doing what you enjoy? And why does it bother people at all if you’re this other type of consistency? Why do they need to judge, define, put into molds?
Why couldn’t I go to a classical music concert in the same week and sing out loud at the club while I am touched by a song of questionable quality? Yes, music is a banal example, but you get the point – I can do anything I want, and I don’t need anything I don’t want.
I can be a strong, capable and ambitious woman one day and the other just a girl who needs a hug, a guiding hand and a sense of security. It doesn’t make me less capable or ambitious, it just makes me human. I have days when I am ready to conquer the world, and I also have days when I struggle to get out of bed. Just like everyone, whatever their status or social class. We are all just people.
I can also love myself and my body, but still want to improve or refine some things. I hate it when someone asks someone why they train, why they put on makeup or something tenth if they like it. Well because we are not plants and everyone should strive to be as good as possible or to do what makes them feel better and that doesn’t mean that we don’t already love ourselves.
Precisely because we love ourselves, we want to work on ourselves and we want to do things for ourselves no matter how much it makes no sense to someone. It doesn’t make much sense to me either, so what now, I’m not going to be an idiot and stick my nose where it doesn’t belong.
Likewise, I can be a completely different person in college, at work, and in private life. It doesn’t make me either indecisive or inconsistent but smart enough to know that it’s not exactly everything for everyone and that sometimes freedom can do me more harm than good. Every occasion has its own code and it is good that it is so. We all like to say we don’t like rules, but without rules we would be lost.
Conclusion? You are no less if you occasionally paint, try and enjoy things that do not fit into your image. You’re not here to be in the mold. You are there to simply be who you are and make the best you know out of it.