You do not dream:
Because you live in Croatia?
Because the success that you wish for, no one near you has ever achieved?
Because you listen to ‘I just want well for you’ destructive tips?
Because after fifteen life happened and you are not sure of yourself as you were in your childhood?
Because what you want, is not ‘here’?
Because your dreams do not match the phone numbers for your uncles or friends?
Because deep down you know that for dreams you need to eat shit when on the second, more secure plate they is caviar mixed with nepotism as a temporary existential solution?
Because you are stuck in your reality systems that draws you to the bottom every day?
Because you know, it is hard to stand alone in the mediocrity crowd when you can find someone to have your back?
The above written sentences are excuses and justifications why you cannot dream. Why not, one day when
we invest all of our physical and mental resources, become what we dreamed of when we were kids?
Because along the line it become hard?
Because you enrolled in a college, you do not really like?
Because you are at work, which is not profitable, much less makes you happy?
I doubt it.
It backfired in the moment when you started doing something for others, not because of yourself, it is not important whether college was because of family or because you marry in your thirties because it is ‘the right thing to do’. These others are, unfortunately, usually mediocrities who rejoice in the concept of ‘bread and games’. Who think that respect for systemic rules is a social norm; that we all have to be equal (for me it is just as miserable to compete with each other in the misery and severity of life). Even though they once had the same motivation, the same will, the same psycho-physical power that was lost along the way when they decided to listen to all but themselves or the people who were able to teach them how to become experts in the business they wanted to do, teach them how to completely fulfill their potential!
This is exactly what is happening to me, when the society asked me why I am thinking the why I am thinking, would not be better to go somewhere in the direction of “having money”, why do I want or dare to think that I will accomplish something that no one in my society has ever done …
How do I have the right to think that I will live one day from writing books, or, live my life to the maximum potential in all areas of my life? By the logic of others, I should be happy to meet the norm of life without credit, solid work in the “profession” and the child (or more if possible).
My right, and the right of everyone who thinks and lives like this, stems from the fact that I have given myself a permission to be everything I want, to live the way I want and to have no fear of opinions and views of others. That deep down I know my value, because if you cannot say that you are your own best in the life- are you worth it at all? What meaning has your life?
Or society really prevails so much to compare with others that it is easier to raise someone above you just because, to be considered less valuable because today no one has self-esteem!? Over time it proved when we cannot brag with our own accomplishments and achievements, it is easier to tag along with someone who “kills” themselves to achieve what he wants.
Were it not for this shameless “tagging along” would never have been those lowest of passions – nationalism, false unity only when the shit and the joy over all those European / World Championships and manipulation of the masses who first see somebody else (the ones holding trophies), and then themselves (the one who is barely surviving and never thinks “I want to be the one holding the trophy in my life, I want to achieve the best I can”).
When you realizes that you are no longer afraid of life, condemnation, pressure, cleansing, sadness, loss – the brakes in life are released because you focus on what you want and not what do not want.
When you begin to think that you want the best for yourself – no system can convince you otherwise, you can lose your hands and feet, but until you lose your mind or common sense, no one else will not be guilty of who you become but you.
The price of thinking outside the box is not important because in the long run you know who you are, others know who they are dealing with.
Too many times during education and socialization, they tried to silence me, because “who am I to say what hurts, to create a thorn in the eye of a society, that destroys someone’s utopia, and this is never (never) nice to hear.”
I am Marta and I speak my mind. I always had done it. Just meanwhile, I have forgotten that I have.
I admit that I forgot a little bit of that feeling when you dream of those dreams bigger than life. Of those dreams that you will not persuade me to give up.
And do not let them persuade you to give up
It is easiest to avoid criticism by silencing, doing nothing, and for you to saying anything. To be nothing.
But we all have something. And somebody.
Or you are a speaker of the masses, populist, walker against the grain, average and shake your head at all socially serves you, give up on yourself or blend in to the mass. The masses that shout “BE AUTENTIC!”, but they do not see authenticity; they only turned this concept into a dry trend.
Or you walk on your own path, deep down knowing who you are and where you’re going, no matter what epitome you earn on that way.
But you’ve never nothing. While you do not think, you are.
While you do not give up on yourself, your values, your principles.
While you do not give up on your dreams.
So are you ready to give up and be nothing, authentic individual blended into the crowd?
You are not.
I do not think you are.