Should a woman become a bitch to achieve goals?
In a society where I live naming a women bitch leaves a negative connotation because it is common opinion that she is the one who exploits others and chooses no means to get what she wants or she is considered the one who exploits men.
In another context, the bitch is a woman who has power and dominance in the business world.
Is the notion of bitch just reducing the independence and emancipation of a woman?
IN THE BEGINNING, THERE WAS THE WOMEN’S MAGAZINE…
At the beginning, there was the women’s magazine and I really like women’s magazines. But the more I read them the more I ask myself what we serve and to what extent. Most of the journals and the portal today that women are reading serve us fashion articles, then beauty and fitness, and finally about male-female relationships.
Perhaps my attitude is too radical, but as I sorted the columns in them, I believe that they subconsciously are leading in the direction: when you dress well, gimp, center your body from the inside and out, and then you will be able to be a full person who can build a relationship with a man you want. Few magazines and portals who are focusing on the empowerment of women go in different order: find work passion, educate yourself, take a little more education, write another course, read and then think about clothes, makeup and fitness finally about men. Teenagers read magazines as fashion bibles that advise them which roses attract men’s attention. If I were led by every advice I read, I would buy anti-wrinkle creams because I am over thirty.
Every season, some ideal women and their quality are drawn. Last year, these were the Parisians who had to demonstrate how to become Parisians to women in the Balkans, with whom they did not have many points of contact in lifestyle except those of gender identity.
Why would any woman, other than Parisian, want to be anything other than what she is?
Because of her own passivity and upbringing to always be good (whatever it is), obedient, to beware of what she is saying, not to contradict others, to behave in accordance with social rules… In translation because of upbringing that taught her that others determine her value.
In these thirty – something years, I have meet girls/women-doormats, I know it sounds terrible, but I personally believe that their behavior is sickening. Behavior in which they give permission to others (families, moms, father, partners, children) to manage their lives.
One middle school example of a girl I have been friends with has taught me that defining one’s own values should be opposing to friends and your own family who always expect them to be available all the time. Opposing to your mother who knows what is best for her child.
Maybe she did know when the child was five, but she certainly does not know what is best for her twenty-five year old child. Opposing to the father who thinks his only daughter is a princess on a pea grain.
Opposing those whose views are of equal value as yours. She did not oppose, so her mother still decides what she will eat for lunch.
It is difficult to discern what our values are if we have always created them through others so, we often feel ashamed of our true personality. Especially women who are not able to stand up for them and their every day mantra is: I cannot do it.
So, if you cannot do anything by yourself how do you expect someone else to do it for you? After all, why should someone do “your” part of the job?
Another example is a girl who was in a relationship with a boy who was a musician (still is, he is not dead and it is not me) but with time and the years they became “we” in everything. She came to all his gigs, cooked, ironed, supported him, washed his pants and was chronically unhappy with her own life. When she completely lost her mind, because no other expression was appropriate for this woman’s condition, she said: Or support me in my dreams as I support you in yours or goodbye! In the end it was – goodbye.
The lesson learned is that if you do not know how to appreciate yourself, you will not appreciate your family, friends, or colleagues at work or your partner. Only when she underlined the border and began to fully appreciate herself, she turned her life around 180 degrees.
…AND IN THE END, A MAN
When women comes to her limit, they finally start to determine what their values and criteria look in their own eyes. Then the men around them start see them with different eyes.
Interestingly, most of the female friends I’ve been discussing the topics of male-female relationships told me that when they crossed the man they been seeing for months or years, he then began to call and jump around them and they did not understand what is the point.
The point is that some realize what they have lost, where they are mistaken and / or finally, from the objective distance they see your values. I now sound like a male-female expert, but the fact is that for everything we chase headless is worth the sentence:
Anything a person chases in life runs away.
I think that the last thing a self-conscious woman has to think about is a man. First, because we need to think about ourselves and the man has his own brain to think the same way.
Only then, in my opinion, two individuals can function together in a long run.
The concept of the bitch in our society definitely leaves negative connotations, but this is solely because there is no expectation that women will be independent, emancipated and their own, but that it is a period of her life until she is married, and the her “I” becomes “we” or in society “they”.
Last weekend, while I was in the tram without a headset, two middle-aged women summarize a life of a daughter of one of them. That conversation was one of the few that I deliberately eavesdropped on because I was hoping to get something smart.All I have heard is that this woman is extremely successful on the business plan, but she is already 37 years old, never been married (it is desirable be divorced at least by now) and there is no more happiness for her in this life. It is a surprise to me that they did not say, that it is a shame, for the rest of us, because she is unnecessarily inhaling the air because she is too old and unfulfilled.
Because of this society, we need to realize our own values where anyone’s opinion will not stand in the way of our own development and if taking your life under your own control, is something that is considered a move of a woman that is a bitch…
… then there is nothing left then to show teeth.